


Decisions of the Heart

by CheerfullyCynical



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Crazy unsub, Kidnapping, Reid!Whump, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, all of the feels, so many feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 12:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10742127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheerfullyCynical/pseuds/CheerfullyCynical
Summary: When an unsub manages to capture the team, Spencer’s one job is to make sure the team makes it out alive. He could have never guessed the consequences of his decision.“See,” The unsub looked straight into his Reid’s eyes, searching for something. “I want you all to feel the pain I felt. And to do that…”The man now turned towards the team. Reid looked over to see both fear and determination in each of their eyes. “I’m going to allow you to send them home.”..."Send them all home." Reid's voice didn't weaver....





	Decisions of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Criminal Minds lovers! I am a new fan, yay! I started this show three weeks ago, and am now on the first episode of season 12. I began to write this when I was watching season four, so this a little reminder that Prentiss is on the team, Maeve hasn’t happened yet, and Spencer is officially off dilaudid. I believe that is all you have to remember. (Honestly after the binge I did, I have no idea where seasons start and end, lol). I hope you enjoy this Reid filled whump story!

Reid didn’t know where he was.

For a moment, terror flooded his veins. All logical thought left his mind, and he was left straining against the pressure on his wrists; endlessly tugging on the rope that he was attached to. “ _Not again.”_ His mind whispered, over and over again, tormenting him. He couldn’t do this again.

“Reid!”

Someone was calling his name. The voice sounded familiar. It was familiar. He had to answer that voice. Someone calling his name like that meant the person was worried; the next step in worry being fear. Fear could lead to aggression in a hostage situation-

Hostage situation. Just last week Reid had stop someone from shooting innocent people to get to her boyfriend. The team was with him, and he trusted the team.

The team was with him here. When Reid opened his eyes, he realized that he had miscalculated. He should have realized that any light was going to aggravate him. Blinking and shaking his head, he forced his eyes open once again.

Everything was fuzzy. He comprehended that there were four figures in front of him, moving, and sitting stiffly on chairs-wooden chairs. Moving his wrists, he grasped that there were ropes attaching him to a similar chair.

The only lone lightbulb was blinking in and out (or was his vision doing that?). Was he drugged? Concussed? What had happened to him? Who were the other figures?

“Reid!”

His name. The same person was repeating his name over and over again, confusing him. Right, his team was there with him. It was someone on his team.

Blinking rapidly, he forced himself away from the fuzzy feeling in his head and _really_ looked.

He spotted Morgan first. He was a mess; blood was dropping from a cut on his forehead into his right eye. He was struggling with the ropes, causing more blood to start from his wrists and drip onto the floor. Instantly his mind supplied him with a small time frame of how long they had been taken: approximately three hours.

He was also the one calling out to him.

“Hey, Pretty Boy,” Morgan stopped struggling. Why would he do that? They needed to get out? Oh, he was worried about him. His mind was fuzzy once again. “You okay?”

Reid found himself nodding, his head nearly rolling. “What-” He coughed. His throat was scratchy and rough. He needed water. “What happened?”

“The unsub took us,” Rossi replied. Reid’s eyes slowly moved over to him. He was exactly like Morgan – head wound, bleeding badly – but he wasn’t trying to escape. If anything, he looked calm. Reid knew him well enough to know that he was anything but calm. “We were the ones he wanted the entire time.”

“Are you sure?” Prentiss asked, causing Reid to direct his attention to her. Why were none of them drugged? It didn’t matter. Prentiss looked relatively unharmed. It must have been a surprise attack from behind. The unsub knocked both Morgan and Rossi with a head wound. He wouldn’t suddenly change his M.O. That wouldn’t make any sense.

And there was another thing; while the rest of his teammates were in a line, he was left on the other side of them, able to see each one of their faces. Why single him out?

He didn’t feel right, nor did he feel a wound on his head. No, they unsub _had_ drugged him, but only him. Was he after him? Was there a case directly connected to him? His mind supplied him with the names of each case he had ever worked on, but none of them stood out.

“Reid.” Hotch-it was Hotch once again. He must have lost focus.

“I’m okay.” He told them, trying to let the words calm himself as much as the rest of the team. Where were JJ and Garcia? Had they not been taken or where they in another room?

“What do you last remember?” Rossi asked, still looking as if this was a casual occurrence for the man. Reid wasn’t surprised by his behavior.

Before he could respond (JJ had just left in one of the SUVs. He was patiently waiting for the next one to get back on the jet home. _That explains why JJ and Garcia weren’t they; the unsub could only take one car.)_ a noise startled him.

Above him, a cellar door opened with a loud _creak_. A part of the floor opened up behind his team. (the heat; they were in an attic. However, it was _redone_ attic. It had white sheetrock walls. Had the unsub built it just for this?) The wooden ladder soon descended with it, and a man walked up. He was well built, _too_ perfect. His movements seemed _practiced_ , almost as if he was trained to walk in a certain way. Military?

When the man had reached the last step, Reid suddenly realized how small the room was. It would maybe 150 square feet, the average size of an American bedroom. To fit, the rest of his team were next to each other, hands nearly allowed to touch if it weren’t for the ropes. Nothing else was in the room.

The room was too small. A cabin floated to the forefront of his mind. He blinked, then it was gone. What stood in its place was a blue eyed, short brown haired _calm_ man.

“I’ve waited…” The man took a deep breath, and slowly walked over to him, his hand nearly touching his forehead. He found himself leaning away from his touch. “ _So long_ to meet you, Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Curiously, the man wasn’t looking at his team at all. It was as if they weren’t even in the room. No, he stared at him, his eyes never leaving his own. Reid tried to keep composed. If the man desired him, he could use that to his advantage.

“I – uh – seemed to be at a l-loss,” He said softly, ignoring the wide eyed looks his team was giving him. “You know my name-”

“-But you don’t know mine.” The man practically sung the words. The words sounded out of place for such a controlled person. While his movements were thought out, his words discredited that. They were quick, nearly rapid fire. This unsub didn’t hesitate.

“E-exactly.” It took everything in him to say the word. While the man didn’t have a weapon, he had a feeling that he didn’t need one to inflict pain.

The man’s demeanor changed in an instant. Reid realized his mistake too late. Without warning, the man lashed out; a harsh right hook to the face left him feeling dazed. Dimly, he heard his team mates cry out to him ( _“leave him alone, you bastard! Pick on someone your own size, man!”)._ Not willing to be defenseless, he forced himself to open his eyes once again.

Their capture was smiling at him, his white teeth nearly sparkling in the dim light. (Wealthy? That didn’t fit the rest of the profile). Reid swallowed, the action giving him just a little bit of confidence.

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” the man told him, kneeling down to the right of him, eye level with him. Spencer’s heart rate went up. He could feel the man’s breath on his arm. “you’re smarter than that, I assume?”

His head throbbed. No doubt there was a red mark on his left temple, soon to be a shade of purple. For once, he forced himself to stay quiet. Keeping quiet while with a narcissist could enrage him – _would_ enrage him, but that was the point: make him so angry that he would slip up. Finally, he moved his eyes away from the unsub and directly in front of him.

Prentiss stared back at him. Like Rossi, she was composed, but he could see the worry in her eyes. He nodded at her, ever so slightly, giving any comfort he could. He would not let his team suffer because of him.

“Oh come now,” the man’s words burned with acid. The fake compassion was stifling. They were dealing with a mad man. “don’t be like that. I’ve waited _forever_ to talk to you.”

The words surprised him. How long had this man been watching him? He continued to stare at Prentiss, refusing to look at him.

“What do you want?” Prentiss asked, he words devoid of emotion. An average person would have been scared; would have nearly yelled the question. Instead, Prentiss handled it with grace, asking the essential question as if it were something as mundane as dinner.

The man didn’t even turn to look at him. Reid could feel his stare on his neck, causing his skin to crawl. “Oh,” he replied, now touching Reid’s arm. He took everything in him not to move. “Spencer here should know. After all, he killed my brother.”

He was so startled that he turned his head to look at him. The man was _still_ smiling. He was excited. Spencer’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest. “What?” He found himself whispering, unable to stop the word.

The calm man was gone in a flash. With a growl, the man moved over to Morgan and revealed a small knife. Before Spencer could process what was happening, the knife was on Morgan throat.

“You see,” the man said, breathing deeply. He was enjoying this. “I’ve thought for _years_ about what I could have done differently to help my brother. To me, he had been so _normal_ – just a regular annoying younger brother.”

The knife was bleeding red with Morgan blood. Morgan didn’t say a word. How could he?

“But then I _realized_ – it wasn’t me! It was _you!_ There was no reason for him to die!” Spencer watch in horror as the knife made a slow cut ( _there wasn’t that much blood. It must be superficial. The man didn’t want to hurt them yet. This was a scare tactic.)_ across Morgan’s neck. In response, Morgan began to thrash in his chair, but it did nothing to stop him.

“But _you_!” The red knife moved away from Morgan’s throat and was now pointed at him. “Oh _you_ had to kill him, didn’t you? He was just _that_ much of a psycho.”

The words weren’t phrased as a question, but Spencer knew that he wanted him to answer it. He licked his dry lips, trying to gain _something_ from the action. Was the key being sympathetic? “No-no one deserves to die. I’m sorry.”

The man _laughed._ It was a loud chuckle, echoing around the room. “Don’t pretend to _care._ You don’t even know who I’m talking about, do you? All of them must run together.”

He was ashamed to admit it, but some days they did. One case after the other, washing away some of the faces. Some stuck with him, but others were left in the back of his mind, never to be dealt with again. Yes, he had an eidetic memory, but names could only take him so far. He could block the names meanings if he found that they were no longer needed. But, this meant he had nothing he could use to defend himself. Nor did he know what to say to stop him.

“What the hell do you want, man?” Morgan said, glaring at his capture. The blood on his neck was running onto his shirt. “An apology?”

“I want you to _suffer_ ,” Reid’s stomach dropped. Images of Tobias Hankel’s torture ran around in his mind. His foot ached in response. “I want you to feel the pain I felt; being helpless to help your own _family.”_

Of course, an unsub that managed to take B.A.U. would be controlled. Reid had no doubt that this man was capable of anything in this state. Though insane, he wasn’t pushed to insanity; there wouldn’t any mistakes unless something went truly wrong in his plan.

The worst part? Most cases like this ended in suicide by cop. They would have to wait for the rest of the team to find them.

“Hurt me.” Reid told him softly, refusing to look at the rest of team. “Hurt me, not them.” The sound of his family’s denial was ringing in Reid’s ears, but it was background noise to him. All of his senses were focused on the mad man in front of him.

The unsub laughed again, just as chilling as the first time. He walked back over to him, once again kneeling to the right of him. “You will get your fair share, most of it in fact.” The man smiled and placed the tip of the knife on Reid’s arm. Its cold tip stilled Reid. “But that isn’t quite the hurt I’m looking for.”

The knife was moved, thankfully not cutting him. However, it’s cold was replaced with the man’s right hand on his own; a mocking comfort. Reid tried to move his hand away out of a sheer reflex, but the ropes stopped him. “See,” The man looked straight into his Reid’s eyes, searching for something. “I want you all to feel the pain I felt. And to do that…”

The unsub now turned towards the team. Reid looked over to see both fear and determination in each of their eyes. “I’m going to allow you to send them home.”

“What?” The word was forced out of him once again. The mere idea of the unsub willingly sending them home was _insane_. He was winning! Why change that?

“It comes with a price!” The man said, obviously ignoring him. The giddy excitement was present again. “Every person equals a month.”

Reid was truly lost. For the first time, he found a puzzle that he couldn’t make out. “I don’t understand.”

“Come _on!”_ The unsub yelled, frustrated. “I thought you were supposed to be smart. Each person you send back equals a month that you’ll stay with me. And as you can see…” The man nodded to the wall behind him. Seeing the looks of fear on his teammates face only confirmed what Reid would find if he turned his head; weapons.

Reid didn’t turn around to look at the wall.

“It’ll be painful.”

A pin could have dropped and he could have heard it. Reid felt sick. He already knew how this would go. He wasn’t going to let his team get hurt because of him. He refused. “You won’t hurt them?” He asked, ignoring Rossi’s knowing look.

“Cross my heart.” The man told him. It was the first time that he sounded sincere. Reid couldn’t – didn’t spot a lie.

“And if we stay?” Hotch asked before Reid could tell him his answer. Reid’s eyes traveled over to his boss. It was clear to see Hotch’s own need to protect him. Reid wasn’t going to let him.

“Then Agent Reid is free to go.” Reid felt physical pain at the idea. He longed to get out of the ropes attaching him to the room. “I mean, you’ll all be dead, but at least our little doctor here is free.”

It was basic math: one life versus four. Reid already knew his choice.

“Let them all go.” Reid’s voice didn’t weaver. It was easy; his life for his family. He could handle whatever the unsub had planned for him. He would endure anything for four months if it meant they were safe.

The unsub smiled, all pearly white teeth showing. “I was hoping you were going to say that.” Reid looked at each of the faces of his family. Though none of them said anything, he could practically read their thoughts. “ _We’ll find you.”_

The unsub moved behind him. Reid could hear metal moving (maybe a pipe?). Before he could react, a piece of cloth was placed in his mouth. Shocked, he cried out into the gag. Fear flashed through his system. What was he planning?

“Don’t want you saying goodbyes or anything,” The unsub said, moving back behind him. Reid wished he could see what he was doing. “After all, I didn’t get to say goodbye to my brother.”

Reid forced himself to take deep breaths through his nose. Four months with a psychopath. He could do this. He had to do this.

“Oh god, Reid.” Prentiss whispered, tears in her eyes. Reid shook his head slightly at her, trying to stop her from showing _anything._ He knew that this unsub wouldn’t allow it. He could taste blood; the gag had opened his already split lip.

Reid had a terrible feeling that this was the least of his problems… And it was going to be like that for a long time.

Hotch was the first to go. The unsub had five needles, each filled with some kind of sedative. Just as the unsub stuck the needle in him, Hotch looked into the unsub’s eyes and said, “We’ll find him.” It was a promise.

“I’ll love to see you try.” The unsub chuckled. It was disturbing. “Actually, I’m sure you will.” And with that, Hotch’s eyes slowly fluttered closed, and his head fell onto the back of his chair. The unsub untied him and lifted him _easily_ from the chair, and threw him over his shoulder- a perfect fire fighter’s move.

The opening to the attic was left open, and they could hear him take Hotch – his boss, his friend, his advisor – downstairs.

Reid wished to say a million things. Give them the profile, ask them to look after his mother, reassure them that they would find him, _ask_ if they would find him, but he was left silent and _useless._

 “We’ll find you,” Prentiss – Emily – said, giving him the tiniest of smiles. “We’re the best of the best.”

Reid nodded, taking the compliment to them in stride. Of course they would. They did the impossible every day. This would be easy. They had the profile of him, even said he was a brother. And said that his brother was killed by his hand.

Before Morgan could say something, they could once again hear his footsteps again. Reid felt as if he was losing each life line, one by one.

“You’re next, Agent Rossi,” The unsub uncapped the needle and filling it once again.

This time, Rossi’s eyes stayed on Reid’s. “You stay strong, kid.” And with that, Reid watched the process for a second time. Rossi – an idol become friend – was cut lose… Then gone.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Morgan told him, looking at him with a fire burning in his eyes. Reid had never seen anyone such passion in anyone before. “We won’t rest until we find you.”

Reid nodded once again. He had never wished to talk so much in his life.

“You’re incredibly brave,” Emily said suddenly, surprising him. “You know that?”

Reid began to nod his head in the negative, trying to tell them that they would do the same for him, but the unsub came back once again, this time heading for Prentiss.

“When I see you again,” Emily’s eyes were hard. If Reid was in the unsub’s place, he would have been frightened. She looked almost deranged now. “I _will_ kill you.”

“Oh,” the unsub reply, still as happy as ever. “I don’t intend to live after this, Agent.”

Emily Prentiss – Reid’s close friend – passed out with wide, shocked eyes. With his heart low in his chest, he watched again as another life line was taken away from him.

“You know I always viewed you as a little brother, right?” Morgan told him suddenly.

Memories flashed in front his eyes: The prank wars, beating Morgan in poker, Morgan ruffling his hair, _Morgan_. It was too much. Tears were in his eyes now. He was scared.

Instead of showing that to his older brother, Reid nodded frantically. He wished he could say the kindness back, but there was nothing he could do.

“Don’t anger him, Spencer,” Morgan looked anxious now. Reid felt the same. “You don’t have anyone to protect now. Just give him what he wants.”

Reid, of course, knew all of this, but he let Morgan lecture him. It was easier for him; _focus on what you can control._

The unsub was back once again. “Last but not least!” The unsub made quick work of the needle, even took relish of jabbing it into Morgan’s neck.

“You son of a bitch!” Morgan screamed, trying futilely to get out of his bindings. He only succeeded in moving the chair. Seconds later, Morgan eyes closed, gone to reality.

Reid had never felt so alone in his life. It was as if all the hope he had was gone.

He blinked. The unsub was in front of him. How had he once again lost track of time? Lost, feeling nearly weightless, he looked at the ground.

“My name is John.” The unsub voice was low, as if he was putting on an act before. Maybe he was. At least now his voice didn’t send chills down Reid’s spine. Taking the knife that was covered in Morgan’s blood, the unsub – John – cut the rope around his ankles. For a brief moment, Reid thought about kicking him, but he quickly remembered their deal; his life for his team.

And Reid knew that _John_ wouldn’t hesitate. It some twisted way, John trusted him to stay put. The idea was humiliating. John already had him wrapped around his fingers.

“And just to let you know,” The ropes are his wrist disappeared. Spencer quickly brought his hands to his front, rubbing the raw skin. He made sure to look non-threatening. “I did say each team member.”

Spencer’s heart skipped a beat, and his eyes immediately went to John’s face, trying to find any sort of lie. There was none.

“No…” Spencer whispered, feeling another part of his soul die.

“Unless you _want_ Jennifer and Penelope to get a little visit,” The man’s voice was once again giddy. Not an act then. “You can, obviously, keep it to four months.”

Reid’s body was reacting of his own accord. He was already shaking his head in the negative. Six months, half and year: 26 weeks, 182 days, 4,380 hours, and 262,800 minutes. “Six months.” He agreed, voice surprising steady.

His team would find him before that. They promised.

The unsub’s – John’s teeth sparkled in white room. “Excellent.” John moved behind him once again. The sound of metal tormented Reid’s ears once again. Would the torture begin already? There was no way. John had to get his team back, otherwise they would wake up in what Reid assumed was van.

Without warning, Spencer felt a sharp pinch on his neck. He hissed.

“Wouldn’t want to leave you here now, would we?” John was once again in front of him. He put his hand on Spencer’s, a quick invasion of person space. Out of pure instinct, Spencer flinched his hand away…But didn’t. He wasn’t able to. The world around him was spinning.

“After all,” Spencer could barely hear the words now. They floated on the edge of his subconscious. He could feel himself bend forward, his head on his knees. “don’t want your team getting any hints. Going to have to change locat…”

Reid’s last thought was of the team; the day that they had rescued him from Tobias. He could see each of their worried faces, their relief, their comforting smiles…

…He was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> So…What did you think? Who did Reid kill? Who is this mysterious unsub? What is he going to do Reid?  
> How’s my writing? It’s been A LONG TIME oh my goodness. I’m pretty busy, so it was nice to go into a Netflix binge and emerge with new story ideas. I missed writing! But seriously, any major errors? Plot holes yet? Good idea? How’s the team’s reactions?  
> Now listen my people. I’m one of those writers that needs outside motivation to continue stories. Send me those reviews! I’m not gonna lie, I’m not sure when I can update, but, for right now, this story is really fun to write and will hopefully get the next chapter out soon!   
> Thanks for the read! Don’t forget to feed the author.


End file.
